Genuine
by MatchPlay
Summary: Jake and Amir slash fic. Don't like, don't read, etc. A normal day... until thoughts set in!  From both POV's.  Most of the angst is in chapter two.  Chapter two now uploaded, warnings for rape, uber-angst, and gayness  even if that is half the fun .
1. Waking

**_Genuine_**

I couldn't think of a title, so I opened the dictionary at random, sorry people, i~i But I think it worked out in the end, anyway, ^w^

**Super Nervous Author to "Kill 'em with kindness" Beta Thanks** to **Lugian Before Swine**, thanks for beta-ing my first (official) fanfic! You're too kind to my nervous self, ^^"

**Super Special Awesome Thanks **to **Eos**, who made me write it in the first place, and made chapter two a little "special" XD

**Warnings:** Homosexuality (I'm homophobic-phobic, so all homo-phobics leave now), boyxboy, malexmale, etc. Slight swearing (?). One incident of masturbation, wanking, etc. And references to episodes you may only vaguely remember, but I think I made it clear enough so that it's just an extra laugh and doesn't confuse people...  
**Disclamer: **I don't own Jake and Amir or College Humor, nor do I make any money off of this.

Aur!: Hey, guys! ...Okay, maybe the confidence just wore off suddenly, should I imagine you in your underwear?  
Jake: Get to the point already.  
Amir: Jakey, can we go to the D's? I haven't had any noogets today!  
Aur!: Here, Amir. -pulls chicken nugget from pocket-  
Amir: -snatches nugget-  
Auri: Well, here's the story. ... Jake?  
Jake: -gets his tongue out of Amir's throat- What?  
Aur!: If you're gonna make out with Amir at least GET A ROOM!  
Amir: -in a daze from Jakes kisses-  
Jake: -drags Amir to a motel-  
Aur!: Anywho, here it is~

* * *

**Chapter One: Waking**

**

* * *

**

BEEP BEEEP BEEP BEEEP BEEP

'_Hmm? Oh, Jakey's alarm.'_

Amir is in nothing but red boxers in Jake's bed, the usual. He hits snooze and whispers in greeting to Jake, "I love you."

_'He's never awake for the first alarm, he never hears me,' _thinks Amir dejectedly.

Amir tears off the covers to reveal Jake clad in only blue boxers, and Amir's mouth begins to water. _'No! Bad, Amir! No thinking about Jakey's cock. You know he's straight… Well, he hasn't gone out with anyone in a couple of years, but that's probs still true. Whateva, he still wouldn't fall in love with me, even if he was gay and we were the last people on Earth. Calm down, Amir! He can't see you cry, he'll ask why and I'll have no answer. At least not one I can say to his face…'_

_'Maybe the light will wake him up.'_ And so Amir grabs for the desk lamp and turns it on in Jake's face.

But, in getting the lamp, he ends up straddling his BBF. '_Oh, well. He shouldn't mind, I know Mini Amir doesn't.'_

Jake's face is smooth, but then his mouth opens and his arm twitches and then:

BEEP BEEEP BEEP BEEEP BEEP, sounds off the second alarm.

Jake's eyes flash open, "What the hell?"

"'Sup?"

Jake pushes away the lamp and Amir puts it down, not wanting the glass to break.

But the light was still in Jakes face, apparently, because he then says, "GET THAT LIGHT OUT OF MY FACE!" So Amir turns off the light.

"Sorry, BBF, I wasn't sure that the alarm would be enough," and he smiles to show no harmful intent.

Amir's stomach growls, "Well, since you're awake… Let's go to the D's and get some noogs!"

"God, is that all you eat?" asks Jake as he rubs the Sandman's mark away.

"No, silly," Amir makes a dismissive gesture.

"That's good, I guess," Jake tries to get up but Amir is in the way.

"Sometimes I eat leftovers from your fridge!"

Turning red, Jake says, "Get off."

Afraid of Jake seeing his boner, Amir just asks, "Why?"

Jake switches their position, so now Jake is straddling Amir, so Amir's erection grows and he hides his face in embarrassment. "Because I have to get ready for work!"

And then Jake rushes off to the bathroom, as Amir, like a kicked puppy, just watches after him.

Getting uncomfortable at the thought of Jake in the shower, he takes a cold shower in the guest bathroom, too ashamed of himself to allow himself release.

_'Ugh, I bet he saw, and that's why he left so fast, I'm disgusting. Falling in love with my BBF, what was I thinking? Not like I had any say, but still…'_  
Still dripping wet, Amir gets dressed and goes into Jake's fridge for some breakfast. _'Not as good as the Dees, but better than _Mom's _cooking. Gorsh, I practically live here…'_

_

* * *

_

_Amir looks into Jakes eyes._

_"I love you," he whispers. And then he begins to fade away._

_Like the dream he is._

_Amir's body floats up, as if instead of chicken nuggets, he was filled with helium. He rises higher, higher. Into the sun. Jake reaches for Amir as Amir opens his mouth to say:_

_"BEEP BEEEP BEEP BEEEP BEEP"_

Jake wakes up to his alarm and a desk lamp in his face.

"What the hell?"

"'Sup?" screeches Amir.

Jake pushes the lamp aside, '_What was that dream about? Ugh, I know, but he's so damn annoying, and will he—' _"GET THAT LIGHT OUT OF MY FACE!" shouts Jake.

"Sorry, BBF, I wasn't sure that the alarm would be enough," Amir smiles like the sun he vanished into. '_No, no, no! He's my best friend and irritating as fuck! … Doesn't explain the dreams… Oh, whatever. They probably mean nothing anyway. Well, they probably mean something, but it can't be the obvious.'_

"Well, since you're awake… Let's go to the D's and get some noogs!" exclaims Amir like an over-exited puppy.

"God, is that all you eat?" asks Jake as he rubs sleep out of his eyes.

"No, silly," Amir waves his hand dismissively.

"That's good, I guess," Jake tries to get up but _Amir is straddling him!_

"Sometimes I eat leftovers from your fridge!" '_Of course._'

Trying to keep calm though aggravated and confused because now he's blushing obviously, Jake says, "Get off."

But Amir just asks, "Why?"

Having just woke up, Jake is not in a good mood, so he shoves Amir off him and onto the bed next to him, and straddles Amir in return. "Because I have to get ready for work!"

Jake realizes what position he put them into and quickly gets off and rushes into the bathroom.

_'What the hell was that? Why did I do that?'_ Jake looks at his shaking hands as he locks the door, not knowing if Amir will decide to come in randomly.

Jake pulls off his boxers and notices a slight boner and looks in the mirror only to see his face it now as red as a tomato.

In the shower, he summons every fantasy he can think of, but only the thought of his annoying friend can help him with his problem.

_Amir grasps his weeping cock and smirks, "Gorsh, Jakey, you're so hard."_

_"Shut up and just—" Jake cuts off into a moan as Amir takes in the tip. He soon takes in as much as he can fit, and grazes the penis with his teeth,__causing Jake to moan, louder this time. Amir moves to suck just the head, with his hands on the base, massaging it until Jake comes into his mouth._

_"I love you, Jakey," comes a whisper from his dream lover._

After orgasm aftershocks fade, Jake says, "I love you, Amir."

_'How could I not have known? Why did it take me so long to realize?'_ he pounds a fist into the wall, and finishes showering, hoping Amir heard none of that.

Jake gets dressed after drying off, hair still damp and going in every direction, and goes into the kitchen for some coffee.

"Hey," says Amir, not loud and aggravating like usual, just "Hey."

Taken aback, Jake stutters, blushing because of his newfound knowledge, "Oh, h-hey."

Amir has set two plates with scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage and toast, each with a glass of orange juice. He even remembered napkins.

Jake is shocked, but takes a plate and grabs at a sausage. It's actually cooked; who knew Amir knew how to cook?

"Thanks," mumbles Jake in embarrassment, blushing.

"No problemo. I was just thinking since I practically live here," begins Amir, but he mumbles the next part, "And since they kicked me out of my apartment and I have until the first to move out…" he continues in a normal, happy tone, "I was thinking I could move in with you!"

"What? They kicked you out! Yeah, man, you can move in. But I mean, this is a one bedroom place, but you sleep in the closet normally, right?"_'Bad,__very bad. What if I do something I'll regret, or worse, something that scares Amir away. Okay, those would probably be the same things, but I really do want him to move in… Shit, I lose either way. Well, at least this way Amir has a place to stay.'_

Amir's eyes light up as if he just opened a Christmas present. He glomps Jake, "Thanks so much, BBF. I love you!"

Jake turns to stone, _'Poor fool doesn't even know how I feel about him.'_

Amir stops moving for a bit, but continues his chokehold nonetheless.

Overcome with emotion, and noticing Amir's earlobe near his face, he nibbles on it, stopping Amir dead in his tracks.

_'Why am I doing this? No. Why haven't I done this sooner?'_

_

* * *

_

Trying to be nice for once, and to butter up Jake, Amir makes his friend breakfast, referring to the cookbook every step of the way. '_The lengths I go for my useless love…'_

"Thanks," says Jake, sausage in mouth, so tempting.

"No problemo. I was just thinking since I practically live here," plunges Amir. "And since they kicked me out of my apartment and I hand until the first to move out," Amir skims over that part, "I was thinking I could move in with you!" He adds every ounce of hope into that last part.

"What? They kicked you out! Yeah, man, you can move in. But I mean, this is a one bedroom place, but you sleep in the closet normally, right?"

Amir grins so wide it feels as if his face will spit in two. He's about to cry in joy and frustration, so he attack-hugs Jake to hide his tears. "Thanks so much, BBF. I love you!"

_'Shiatsu! I can't believe I just said that! Crap, now he isn't moving. He'll move away and change his mind and I won't have a place to stay and I'll lose my BBF!'_

And then Jake gnaws on his earlobe.

Amir lets his body move without thinking about it, and he lets go of the death grip and kisses Jake on the lips.

He expects him to freeze, to shove him away. Not whatever this is.

Jake returns the kiss.

It starts fast, open mouthed, with no tongue. But soon enough it's a slow, tender kiss with lots of tongue. Amir lets Jake win the battle for dominance, and Jake is thankful for it as he explores every bit of the cavern.

* * *

Amir lets go of Jake, and looks into his eyes for a quick moment. _'I shouldn't have done it, shit, shit, shit!'_

And then Amir kisses him.

Just like that.

It's open and fierce, and then it's slow, needy, tender, all of the good things in the word wrapped into one kiss, a first of many.

_'I can't believe…'_ but Jake can't even finish his thoughts; his brain's puddling to his toes.

He wraps his arms around Amir's waist and Amir tugs at his hair, deepening the kiss.

But they need to get to work, so Jake stops the kiss.

"I love you, Amir," he says, out of breath.

"Yeah, I love you, too, Jakey." Amir bumps their foreheads together.

And so they go to work.

* * *

Was it okay? The ending wasn't very exceptional, but there's a second chapter coming up, soon. Ima wait for ... one or two reviews before I post it though. Seeing the lack of Jake and Amir fanfiction on FF.n makes me uneasy, so I'll keep my standards low.

R&R?


	2. Proposals

**Warnings: **male/male slash, gayness, etc. Major angst, rape, kidnapping, etc. I'm gonna give away the plot at this rate...

**Disclamer: **I do not own Jake and Amir or College Humor, nor any affiliates, etc, etc. I'm not popular enough to make money off of my crap writings.

Well, I never got the (or _any_) reviews, but I know how I am horrible at reviewing, and don't read much that isn't under the "completed" section, so I'm giving you guys (all one of you; is it even that much? -.-||| ) the second and last chapter.

**BETA: **Special thanks to **Lugian Before Swine **for beta-ing all of my Jake and Amir fanfiction as of yet (Genuine and Dinner Tonight?).

I'm so, so, so sorry for the angstyness of this chapter. I blame my friend, Eos, for this. Eos made me write this in the first place, so I guess I can't blame them that much...  
Jake: Shut up, already.  
Why are you so mean, Jakey~!  
Jake: Apparently, that's how you view me.  
But only 'cause you're always so mean to Amir on the website, and ... I don't know!  
Amir: Be nice to Aur!, she did write us together, after all.  
Jake: -deep, seme, fuck-me-now,-Amir, growl-  
Hehe, you won't thank me so much if you read this fanfic, but since you guys will never read this (because I said so), just go get a motel or something, so that the (very, very few) readers can read this.  
Amir: -gasp-  
Jake: -pulls Amir out of the room-  
Sorry for the uber-long A/N, but here you go guys! ^^;;

* * *

"Dinner tonight?" asks Amir. Jake and Amir are the last ones in the office, and it's eleven at night.

"Who'd be open at this hour?"

"The Dees of course!" exclaims Amir.

"Of course. Okay let's go," Jake smiles at his lover.

They catch a taxi that doesn't even ask, just takes them to McDonald's once he sees Amir's face.

"Hey, Cindy!" greets Amir to a late-night McDonald's worker.

"Oh, hi, Amir. It's been a while, almost two days," she says sarcastically, but with good humour.

"Well you know how Jakey is!" stage-whispers Amir.

Cindy's face contorts into a half-smile, but at least she's trying not to laugh. Not that Amir was helping the fangirl any, Jake just waves, embarrassed.

Jake gets the two a table and Amir comes back with fifty chicken nuggets, a Big Mac, large fries and two sodas.

By the time they've finished eating, the place is empty save for Cindy all alone cleaning grills in the back.

Amir pops in one last nugget, seemingly come out of no where, as Jake gets up.

"I'll be back in a bit," and he stalks off into the bathroom.

"Aaarg! What do I do? I guess now is better than later…" Jake screams at his refelction.

After fixing his hair in the mirror, Jake goes back to where Amir once was, only to find him gone.

From behind him there's a voice, "Cindy! Can I have ten more noogs please?"

"No problem, Amy!" comes a call from the back.

Amir sits down, waiting for his meal, but Jake is still standing, fidgeting.

"Jakey, aren't you gonna sit down?" asks a worried Amir.

"Actually…" Jake kneels down next to Amir, and they both blush. Everyone knows what this means.

"Amir… Will you marry me?" Jake presents the ring, a simple silver band, which Jake has been carrying around in his pocket, waiting for the right moment.

"Yes!" shouts Amir as they both jump up to kiss passionately.

And then the window behind them shatters and a bat swings to hit Amir's head and knock him out.

A bat soon swings to the back of Jake's skull leaving him on the floor.

A note is shoved into his fist, reading:

I don't like killing, but for you I'll make an exception. _I_ was supposed to be the one with Amir. But you had to go and trap his heart. So I had to steal him and hopefully his heart back. I want nothing from you, but I'll let you have hope in saving your little pet, even if I will just kill you.

At the bottom of the page was an address.

Coming to, Jake figured he was just dreaming a sick dream; there was no way he could have gotten the courage to ask Amir to marry him. And Jake walked to their apartment.

* * *

Amir wakes up, suspended in air by his ankles, wrists, and something around his stomach; he's only about waist high in the air, but he's afraid of heights. He starts to scream for Jake, but there's something in his mouth and it tastes like chocolate sauce.

He squirms in mid-air only for the cool air to make him notice he's completely naked save for the restraints.

A voice comes from behind him.

"Oh, Amir, you're awake. Would you like to have some fun," says the voice, as whoever it is grasps his balls roughly, making him tear up.

"Now, now. Don't cry. This is merely the beginning."

Amir squeaks in surprise as the stranger fingers his entrance, not even playing first. He shoves in three fingers to start, and only pumped twice before he added his pinky, soon fisting him.

Amir had been stretched plenty before by Jake, but an entire fist was never necessary, even with Jake's rather … large size.

Amir couldn't stop the sobs from being penetrated so harshly, but the gag made it difficult to breathe once his nose got stuffed up. The stranger showed no mercy, and Amir had to breathe the best he could.

"My name's Ben. So when you come, shout accordingly," smirks the man, Ben.

"Oh, that's right, the ball gag. Oh, well," he waves dismissively.

And then Ben shoves his painfully thick but short penis into Amir, grunting on his way in. He can feel Amir begin to tear, but that just adds to the moist pleasure for Ben, and he keeps pounding until he comes.

Amir does not come.

Even after being felt up, it wasn't his Jakey, it wasn't a boner.

Amir felt so filthy, he wanted to die.

Instead, he cried himself to sleep, still in mid-air.

He wakes to the sound of Jake and passes out from happiness.

* * *

The next morning, the note was still there.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! … Okay, calm down. There's an address. But I'll get killed. But at least I'll know I've tried. I'm coming, Amir!"

Foolishly, he runs the whole way there, even though he could have just taken a taxi.

The address was to a simple home, quaint almost.

Thinking he was given the wrong address just for a sniper to come get him, he takes the bait and knocks on the door.

"Oh, hello, Deary," an old lady answers, "You're Jake, right? Come on in, my grandson said he was expecting you."

"Um, thanks…" says Jake uncertainly.

"Now don't you worry, I've replaced all the bullets in the house with blanks and Benny never noticed," she says casually. "He gets so obsessed sometimes," she laughs.

Jake worries about the sanity in the Schwartz genes, when he hears a sickeningly Amir-like groan.

Forgetting the old lady and manners, he runs down the stairs to the basement.

A figure comes forth from the shadows. "I've been waiting, Jake."

Then Jake sees a bound Amir tied up with nothing on. His ankles are bound by thick leather straps to long ropes, keeping his legs wide open, showing the whole world Amir's penis with cock ring included and his puckered hole, and he's at the perfect height for penetration. His arms are captured in handcuffs, which are tied to a rope to the ceiling. He is completely suspended in the air, belly down, a girdle also attached to the ceiling keeps him from being in too much pain from his own weight. There's a ball gag in his mouth and he's asleep, tears silently falling down his face onto a puddle on the ground.

There's blood dripping down his sides, from knife wounds, slow and precise, but not deep enough to kill, just to make scars. The blood drips into the puddle of tears, blossoming red swirls in the salt water.

Jake begins to sob at the sight, when Amir wakes up.

"Ah!" Amir coos, and than passes out again.

"No! What have you done to him?"

"I merely took what I deserved all along, Jakey Boy." Ben smirks.

Ben pulls out a gun and aims towards Jake, "Any last words?"

"You've been a bad boy, Benny!" comes a voice from behind. The figure is in the shadows, only its gleaming eyes to be seen.

Suddenly a paddle flies though the air, in the fist of Granny Schwartz.

"Go get your boyfriend, Jake, I'll take care of him…" chuckles the old lady.

Eyebrow twitching, Jake tenderly takes off the ankle restraints. Then Amir wakes.

"Jakey, I'm so sorry."

"What do you have to be sorry about?" Jake shouts in frustration as he puts his coat over Amir, thankful that it's long enough to cover his privates.

"He… He raped me Jake. I feel… so dirty."

"Shhh… It's my fault I wasn't here sooner. I'll clean you up once we get home."

"Home sounds nice," smiles Amir, and he soon passes out once more.

Jake calls a cab, and pays extra for no questions.

Once home, Jake pulls the jacket off Amir and strips himself.

He leads Amir to the bath with the first aid kit in tow. Amir hasn't woken up yet.

After testing the water and leaving the drain unplugged, Jake gently sets Amir into the tub, grunting from his weight. Amir's eyes flash open.

"Ow!" squeaks Amir.

"What hurts?" says a frantic Jake.

"Aaaaaah… My dung hole, Jakey, it's sore. He doesn't like to play nice…" said Amir as he began to tear up from the pain.

"Can you deal with it until I get you bandaged up?"

Amir nods, and sits silently save for some gasps and winces from the cool alcohol.

Now working on his legs, Jake is in the tub with Amir, thankful for its largeness.

Jake notices a particularly large knife stroke on Amir's upper inner thigh, and it's still bleeding quite a bit.

Jake takes the plunge and licks the length of the wound.

"AAAAaaaaahhhhhhh…" moans Amir.

Noticing the rather positive response, Jake begins licking any wound that isn't bandaged yet or was too small to bother bandaging.

"OooooOOOOOH!" comes a gasp from Amir.

"You know, Amir, I hear some ways of cleansing yourself is by filling yourself with healthy things to get rid of the bad stuff left behind," chuckles a very seme-like Jake.

"Jakey, you know how I have hair-triggered coming when you talk dirty, don't tease me, bro!"

"Wouldn't want that," says a lusty Jake as he fills his lover, slowly.

At least now, Amir had the right fillings.

* * *

I know, I know. "WTF?" you might say. Well, if you liked the fluffy bits, just hop on over to my other fic, "Dinner Tonight?" it's a Jake and Amir drabble, and SOOOO fluffy, that even _I_ couldn't hate it. And I'm very self-depreciating, so that's saying something, ^w^;;

It's amazing how even though I almost never read angst, I write it so often. (I know I have a shyte-load of fanfiction I still have to complete, beta, and post, but bear with me; most of it is anime/manga based anyway.)

R&R?


End file.
